


By Sun and Candlelight

by Mrs Gordo (MrsGordo)



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: BtVS Season 4, F/M, No Riley bashing, season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 15:05:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13273992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsGordo/pseuds/Mrs%20Gordo
Summary: This is short little one shot set in Season 4, circa “The I in Team.”





	By Sun and Candlelight

Buffy walked in late for class and sat in the back. Tara who was sitting on the other side of the lecture hall looked up and gave her a small wave, which Buffy returned with a smile. Buffy felt exhausted. She had been up all night hunting and eventually killing some polka dot demon with Riley and then they had gone back to his place - and stayed up doing the deed. Buffy blushed at the thought. Her body was still tingly and flush from her night with Riley. The relationship was off to a great start. For beginners, he was _there_ this morning when she woke up. That is already a vast improvement from - ‘Ok, no let’s not go there.’ She thought to herself. Bad idea to do the compare thing. If only because it made her think about _him_ and that wasn’t part of her plan. She was in the forgetting phase, she reminded herself.

She shook her head and tuned into the ongoing lecture.

“...and what was really interesting about Ms. Browning,” said Dr. Leopold, “was that she often used her poetry to express her forward thinking feminist views. She was a proponent of women’s education and wrote often about women’s issues and gender inequality during the Victorian era. It was controversial, to say the least, to express views on breaking the patriarchal social norms of those times.”

Buffy listened vaguely to her professor but she was so tired that her eyes became heavy and eventually they closed. She slowly drifted to sleep.

*****

_She felt the warmth from his fireplace. It had been cold out and she had her fuzzy winter socks. She was wrapped in a soft throw blanket that he had bought for her. She leaned against his broad chest._

_“So tell me about her.”_

_“Who? Browning?” He asked._

_“Yeah.” Buffy responded as she sifted through the book he had given her for her birthday._

_“Well some considered her overly sentimental - this passionate love sick woman. But in truth, her writing was, not just beautiful, but also complex and layered. She was an educated woman. She believed in women’s independence and often spoke out against the rigid social rules that were expected of them.”_

_“Hmm, so a rule breaker huh? Woman after my own heart. I know a thing or two about a group of men telling you what to do.”_

_“Yeah. You do. But you have always redefined those rules. And set your own. You even defy prophecy. It’s a very admirable quality.” She looked up at him and saw he was giving her one of his crooked little smiles._

_“You admire me?” A smile spreading across her face._

_He shrugged a little. “I do. Maybe I don’t always tell you this but you are - inspiring. I have learned so much from you in such a short period of time. About fighting for what you believe. About never giving up. About what it means to love and be loved.”_

_Buffy settled back into his chest. “Wow. I guess I’m kinda cool huh?”_

_He kissed the top of her head. “Yes. Yes you are.” He grabbed the book and started thumbing through it, “And her husband, Robert Browning, he was very supportive of Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s work. They say that they were true partners - equals - which was also unusual for their time. As a matter of fact, he encouraged her to publish this book because he thought they were some of the best sonnets written since Shakespeare.”_

_“Mmm. It’s nice to have a partner.” She squeezed his hand. Buffy nuzzled into him and closed her eyes. “Read me your favorite sonnet in the book.”_

_Buffy heard him set the book down and felt his arms encircle her tightly. As he spoke softly and she could feel the vibration of his voice through his chest._

_How do I love thee? Let me count the ways._

_I love thee to the depth and breadth and height_

_My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight_

_For the ends of Being and ideal Grace._

_I love thee to the level of everyday’s_

_Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight._

_I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;_

_I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise._

_I love thee with the passion put to use_

_In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith._

_I love thee with a love I seemed to lose_

_With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,_

_Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,_

_I shall but love thee better after death._

_“I’m dreaming.” Buffy whispered._

_“You’re remembering.” He said softly speaking into her ear._

_“Remembering when you were here. But now you’re gone. This isn’t real.”_

_“Are you still my girl?” He asked._

_“Always.”_

*****

Buffy was startled awake by the commotion of her classmates gathering their belongings. She had managed to sleep through the entire lecture. She placed her notebook back in her messenger bag and headed out the classroom. Tara caught up to her.

“Hey!”

“I saw you taking a little snooze in class.” She giggled.

“Yeah.” Buffy smiled. “Long night.”

“How are you liking the class so far? I never pegged you for a poetry lover. Are you a fan?”

“Not really.” Buffy wasn’t sure what had come over her but her eyes began to water and her voice began to tremble a bit. “I - I’m not sure why I decided to take this class really. It’s - well it’s really boring. In fact, I think I’m going to go see about dropping it.” Buffy knew why she had taken the class. She just couldn’t think about it. Not right now. She was heading towards something good in her life, right?

“Oh - I - I - I’m sorry if I upset you - I didn’t mean to -.” Tara said nervously.

Buffy took a deep breath. “Oh no - Tara, it’s not you. It’s - I’m just tired is all. I just need a nap. I’ll see ya later OK?”

Tara nodded. Buffy gave her a small reassuring smile then turned to walk away.

As she walked the UC Sunnydale campus towards her dorm she thought of Riley. He was sweet and thoughtful and cute. And here. He was here.

_You should be with someone who can take you into the light._

The memory was fleeting but painful.

“Buffy!”

She heard a voice from behind. She turned around but the afternoon sun was so bright she had to shade her eyes to make him out. It was Riley. He ran up to her with a big smile and hugged her. “Hey. How’s my girl.”

Buffy looked up at him and smiled back. “Fine. I’m fine.”

And she was fine. She knew she could even be happy with him. But deep down, she also knew that she wouldn’t ever really be his girl.

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this fic as a part of a larger fic and realized it didn’t fit so I took it out. 
> 
> I got the idea for this fic after reading a post from my fellow Buffyverse enthusiast Earthlogic on Buffy Boards regarding Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s life. Information in the fic regarding Browning is from both Earthlogic’s post on the forum as well as some general online searches.


End file.
